The Vulnerability Path
Back when I was 16 years old, still in the glorious and dramatic High-School days, I and a group of friends were running to become the School's students association. Well, for 3 days we organized a bunch of activities for the campaign.
Long story short, we were told we won the elections. After celebrating, a mistake was found, and the votes were going to be counted again. I had a break-down. Anxiety crippled in and I simply could not stop crying. Anxiety attack? Maybe. (I told you this was dramatic).
When I finally recomposed myself, there was just one thing I was worried about. It was not winning. But "how many people saw me crying?"
I hated vulnerability. Anytime I felt it crippling in, I would back off. Bring the shield, the warrior can only play on defense. That was me.
Fast forward a couple of years, I came across the book "Daring Greatly", by Brené Brown. I read it during a tough period of my life and it was the first time I saw vulnerability being discussed as a theme of research. As a skeptical and suspicious person, the fact that data was brought to the table made me rethink the whole vulnerability-kinda-thing. Still, it was the personal and vulnerable stories told by Brené that led me to actually put it into practice.
If you read my blog-posts from 2017 (cringe alert) and the most recent ones, I believe there is one remarkable difference: the willingness to expose some of my personal stories, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Honestly, what I learned about vulnerability is this: it's not easy. It can be scary, painful, and heartbreaking. But it's a road worth taking. Because on the other side, there is connection, healing, and relief.
This whole vulnerability thing remembers me of the Sunday road trips we did, as a family, during my childhood. There are two roads that lead to a beautiful city near Douro's river. One is full of curves, really tight and I get dizzy. But the surrounding landscape is memorable. The other road is a highway. You'll get there much faster, but get to experience nothing.
Vulnerability is the first road. You'll struggle through the path. It takes more time. You will get dizzy. But, you get to experience something much more valuable — connection.
In the end, it's a choice.
“Numb the dark and you numb the light.”